Friday, May 29, 2009
Jonas Gets His Groove On
Jonas loves music. At church I never take him to the nursery until the music is over because he always enjoys it so much. He usually gets the treat of banging on the drums after LIVE (the youth service) and he always amazes us with his rhythm and ability to use both drum sticks correctly. At home, his favorite toys are a cheap electric keyboard and a toy guitar I bought at a garage sale for a dollar. Last weekend we stayed at Lighthouse Christian Camp and we took his guitar along. Our friend Dave Simpson "played" it while Jonas showed off his dance moves. Enjoy the video!
Monday, May 18, 2009
Do Something
We've just started a new series in LIVE (our Sunday morning worship service for teens) and Fuel (teen small groups) called Do Something. For the next 5 weeks, Ray and his team will be making students aware of problems in the world (such as poverty, AIDS, disease, pollution, oppression, slavery, and hunger) and challenging them to do something about it. They will be collecting new and gently used shoes to donate locally and abroad, and beginning the long-term sponsorship of a little boy from Haiti. At the end of the series, they will have the opportunity to participate in World Vision's 30 Hour Famine. They will get sponsors to raise money to fight hunger, fast for 30 hours, and come together to worship, have fun, look at what God's Word has to say about the poor, and serve the community together. I decided to share with you some of what the teens will be learning.
Did you know that 25,000 people die every day from hunger and related causes, and that every 6 seconds a child dies from hunger? The problem is not that there isn't enough food in the world. There is enough food in the world to provide every human being with about 4.3 pounds of food every day. The problem is that many people are too poor to buy any of the abundance of food that exists.
Did you know that there are more slaves in the world today than in 400 years of the Trans-Atlantic slave trade?
Did you know that one billion people live on less than a dollar a day? Did you know that if you have food, clothing, shelter, a car, and some change in your pocket, you are richer than 80% of the world's population?
Did you know that in Africa, AIDS is wiping out an entire generation of people, leaving over 15 million orphans behind? In one of my favorite books, There Is No Me Without You, Melissa Fay Greene discusses the statistics from the year 2000, when there were 12 million AIDS orphans. She writes, "Who was teaching twelve million orphans to swim? Who was signing 12 million permission slips for school field trips? Who packed twelve million school lunches? Who cheered at twelve million soccer games? Who was going to buy twelve million pairs of sneakers that light up when you jump? Backpacks? Toothbrushes? Twelve million pairs of socks? Who will tell twelve million bedtimes stories? Who will quiz twelve million children on Thursday nights for their Friday-morning spelling tests? Twelve million trips to the dentist? Twelve million birthday parties?........ Who will help them grow up, choose the right person to marry, find work, and learn to parent their own children? Well, as it turns out, no one. Or very few. There aren't enough adults to go around. Although in Western industrialized states HIV/AIDS has become a chronic condition rather than a death sentence, in Africa a generation of parents, teachers, nurses, professors, spiritual leaders, musicians, poets, coaches, farmers, bankers, and business owners are being erased."
We, as Americans, are blessed to live in a country where we have the freedom to live, work, and worship the way we please. We are blessed to have access to clean water, food, medical care, and shelter. And yet, I think too many of us are oblivious to the problems in the world. We sit around in our comfortable living-rooms debating whether Bush or Obama have the right domestic and foreign policies. We demand that those coming to our country to seek a better life (often escaping poverty, oppression, and corruption) learn to speak English fluently as if they enjoy having a language barrier, or as if they don't have other things to worry about (like feeding their families). Today I want to challenge myself and all of you to live lives full of compassion, love, and generosity. I urge us to look beyond our needs, wants, preferences, and prejudices, and to allow God's love to radiate from us. Let's be known for our love, not judgement and not condemnation.
So what can we do? The problems are indeed too large for one person to tackle on their own. But together, we can make a difference. There are many opportunities available if you want to help out. I just want to share one with you. Ray and I recently joined the Mocha Club, and aid organization in Africa. It's ONLY $7 a month (the cost of 2 mochas) and you can choose how you want your money to help. Their projects include education, HIV/AIDS, job creation, orphan care, and Sudan regrowth. We chose to contribute to HIV/AIDS education, medical attention, and job opportunities for those infected. If you're interested in joining our team, go to
http://mochaclub.org/joinme/JonasEkra. Or, choose your own project to support! By the way, I NEED AFRICA MORE THAN AFRICA NEEDS ME. To find out why, go to www.mochaclub.org and watch the video on the home page.
Did you know that 25,000 people die every day from hunger and related causes, and that every 6 seconds a child dies from hunger? The problem is not that there isn't enough food in the world. There is enough food in the world to provide every human being with about 4.3 pounds of food every day. The problem is that many people are too poor to buy any of the abundance of food that exists.
Did you know that there are more slaves in the world today than in 400 years of the Trans-Atlantic slave trade?
Did you know that one billion people live on less than a dollar a day? Did you know that if you have food, clothing, shelter, a car, and some change in your pocket, you are richer than 80% of the world's population?
Did you know that in Africa, AIDS is wiping out an entire generation of people, leaving over 15 million orphans behind? In one of my favorite books, There Is No Me Without You, Melissa Fay Greene discusses the statistics from the year 2000, when there were 12 million AIDS orphans. She writes, "Who was teaching twelve million orphans to swim? Who was signing 12 million permission slips for school field trips? Who packed twelve million school lunches? Who cheered at twelve million soccer games? Who was going to buy twelve million pairs of sneakers that light up when you jump? Backpacks? Toothbrushes? Twelve million pairs of socks? Who will tell twelve million bedtimes stories? Who will quiz twelve million children on Thursday nights for their Friday-morning spelling tests? Twelve million trips to the dentist? Twelve million birthday parties?........ Who will help them grow up, choose the right person to marry, find work, and learn to parent their own children? Well, as it turns out, no one. Or very few. There aren't enough adults to go around. Although in Western industrialized states HIV/AIDS has become a chronic condition rather than a death sentence, in Africa a generation of parents, teachers, nurses, professors, spiritual leaders, musicians, poets, coaches, farmers, bankers, and business owners are being erased."
We, as Americans, are blessed to live in a country where we have the freedom to live, work, and worship the way we please. We are blessed to have access to clean water, food, medical care, and shelter. And yet, I think too many of us are oblivious to the problems in the world. We sit around in our comfortable living-rooms debating whether Bush or Obama have the right domestic and foreign policies. We demand that those coming to our country to seek a better life (often escaping poverty, oppression, and corruption) learn to speak English fluently as if they enjoy having a language barrier, or as if they don't have other things to worry about (like feeding their families). Today I want to challenge myself and all of you to live lives full of compassion, love, and generosity. I urge us to look beyond our needs, wants, preferences, and prejudices, and to allow God's love to radiate from us. Let's be known for our love, not judgement and not condemnation.
So what can we do? The problems are indeed too large for one person to tackle on their own. But together, we can make a difference. There are many opportunities available if you want to help out. I just want to share one with you. Ray and I recently joined the Mocha Club, and aid organization in Africa. It's ONLY $7 a month (the cost of 2 mochas) and you can choose how you want your money to help. Their projects include education, HIV/AIDS, job creation, orphan care, and Sudan regrowth. We chose to contribute to HIV/AIDS education, medical attention, and job opportunities for those infected. If you're interested in joining our team, go to
http://mochaclub.org/joinme/JonasEkra. Or, choose your own project to support! By the way, I NEED AFRICA MORE THAN AFRICA NEEDS ME. To find out why, go to www.mochaclub.org and watch the video on the home page.
Monday, May 4, 2009
6 Months, Attachment, and Sleep
Today is the 6 month anniversary of the day we brought Jonas back to our hotel and started our new role as parents. I still get teary when I think about how God brought us together as a family. Jonas was orphaned, but he was never outside of the care of his Heavenly Father. And when we were going through infertility, God didn't give us what we thought we wanted because he knew what was even better. He brought indescribable beauty from ashes.
It seems like we've been a family for much longer than just 6 months, but when I think about that day I can still feel all the emotions I felt as we walked out of the transition home gates with Jonas in our arms. I was elated and terrified! The next few days were a blur of night feedings and blow-out diapers and trying to learn what Jonas wanted and needed. It seemed like the other babies in our travel group were always pretty calm and able to go with the flow throughout the day. Not Jonas. He seemed to either be overly excited and happy, or crying with a rage I didn't know was possible for such a small guy. We thought he just had big personality and that maybe he was more than a little strong willed. Looking back on it now, I realize that he was probably pretty scared and was going through a lot of grieving. I had read so many things about adoption before we met Jonas that I'm surprised I didn't see his grief for what it was. Maybe I was in a bit of denial. Or maybe it was because he seemed to attach to us pretty quickly. After only a couple of days with us he refused to let anyone else hold him. He seemed to do well on other points on attachment checklists too. He always made good eye contact, smiled at us, imitated us, etc. I can see now that he was attaching to us, but he wasn't attached yet. True and secure attachment is a tricky process that takes time, especially when the child has experienced disruptions in caregivers. Signs of trouble with attachment can be very subtle, and can be easy for a first time parent to overlook. I found an attachment checklist and started to pay attention to things after we had been home a while. I noticed some things that made me wonder if Jonas was having trouble with attachment. It almost seemed like he regressed in his attachment after we had been home about 3 months and I started working part time. Like I said, the signs were very subtle, such as not letting us comfort him when he was hurt, biting us when we were too close to his face (which I initially just thought was teething),etc. I also learned that sleep trouble is a major sign of attachment difficulties. Sometimes I think I was looking for problems that weren't there, but I am glad we paid attention to attachment and did everything we could to promote it. I can see now that we've all grown in the area of attachment in the past 6 months. We loved Jonas from the beginning, but adjusting to parenthood took some time. Jonas has adjusted as well. We no longer see that rage that used to come out in the form of inconsolable crying. He adapts to new situations very easily now and always seems to just go with the flow. He still has big personality, but he's a completely different kid than he was 6 months ago. Here he is "helping" daddy unload the dishwasher.
As far as sleep goes, we're still co-sleeping. We originally saw it as a temporary solution to our sleeping woes, but we're committed to it now. Co-sleeping has gotten a bad rap in this country. The American Academy of Pediatrics advises against it because they say it increases the risk of SIDS. The weird thing is that when it is done with some simple safety precautions, co-sleeping has actually been shown to reduce the risk of SIDS. I also think that parents who choose to co-sleep are sometimes viewed as push overs or like they just don't have the back-bone to teach their kids how to sleep on their own. But co-sleeping has done wonders for Jonas' attachment to us. Some studies have even shown that babies that co-sleep grow up to be more independent and self-assured as adults than babies who sleep alone. I'm not sure how reliable a study like that is because there are many other variables that come into play throughout a child's life. But I certainly think that co-sleeping can't hurt. The other argument I've heard is that parents don't sleep as well with a baby in their bed. There's a valid point there for sure! We have definitely had some rough nights, when the thought of putting Jonas to bed and not seeing him again until the next morning has been quite appealing. I have always seemed to need more sleep than the average person, and there have been nights with Jonas that I've thought "I can't do this anymore!" But I get up, drink some coffee, and make it through the day just fine. God has supplied all the strength I need. In general, Jonas has been getting better with sleeping. About a month ago Jonas started to be quite a bed hog and our bed was feeling very cramped. To give us more space I researched how to safely make his crib into a side car bed and that has been working really well. He typically spends most of the night in his crib, and just whimpers and rolls over to me when he wants to sleep closer. He slept through the night (without rolling over to be near me) for the first time last week! This week he was cutting a tooth and he never sleeps well when he's cutting teeth. We had a rough few days, but he got back on track again last night. All in all, the benefits of co-sleeping outweigh the negatives for us. I cherish the times that Jonas snuggles up to me and throws a chubby arm around my neck. I fall back asleep with his soft head under my chin and the sweet smell of his hair. Co-sleeping is not for every family. I'm not even trying to say that it is the best thing to do. It is, however, a good option and the best thing for our family.
It seems like we've been a family for much longer than just 6 months, but when I think about that day I can still feel all the emotions I felt as we walked out of the transition home gates with Jonas in our arms. I was elated and terrified! The next few days were a blur of night feedings and blow-out diapers and trying to learn what Jonas wanted and needed. It seemed like the other babies in our travel group were always pretty calm and able to go with the flow throughout the day. Not Jonas. He seemed to either be overly excited and happy, or crying with a rage I didn't know was possible for such a small guy. We thought he just had big personality and that maybe he was more than a little strong willed. Looking back on it now, I realize that he was probably pretty scared and was going through a lot of grieving. I had read so many things about adoption before we met Jonas that I'm surprised I didn't see his grief for what it was. Maybe I was in a bit of denial. Or maybe it was because he seemed to attach to us pretty quickly. After only a couple of days with us he refused to let anyone else hold him. He seemed to do well on other points on attachment checklists too. He always made good eye contact, smiled at us, imitated us, etc. I can see now that he was attaching to us, but he wasn't attached yet. True and secure attachment is a tricky process that takes time, especially when the child has experienced disruptions in caregivers. Signs of trouble with attachment can be very subtle, and can be easy for a first time parent to overlook. I found an attachment checklist and started to pay attention to things after we had been home a while. I noticed some things that made me wonder if Jonas was having trouble with attachment. It almost seemed like he regressed in his attachment after we had been home about 3 months and I started working part time. Like I said, the signs were very subtle, such as not letting us comfort him when he was hurt, biting us when we were too close to his face (which I initially just thought was teething),etc. I also learned that sleep trouble is a major sign of attachment difficulties. Sometimes I think I was looking for problems that weren't there, but I am glad we paid attention to attachment and did everything we could to promote it. I can see now that we've all grown in the area of attachment in the past 6 months. We loved Jonas from the beginning, but adjusting to parenthood took some time. Jonas has adjusted as well. We no longer see that rage that used to come out in the form of inconsolable crying. He adapts to new situations very easily now and always seems to just go with the flow. He still has big personality, but he's a completely different kid than he was 6 months ago. Here he is "helping" daddy unload the dishwasher.
As far as sleep goes, we're still co-sleeping. We originally saw it as a temporary solution to our sleeping woes, but we're committed to it now. Co-sleeping has gotten a bad rap in this country. The American Academy of Pediatrics advises against it because they say it increases the risk of SIDS. The weird thing is that when it is done with some simple safety precautions, co-sleeping has actually been shown to reduce the risk of SIDS. I also think that parents who choose to co-sleep are sometimes viewed as push overs or like they just don't have the back-bone to teach their kids how to sleep on their own. But co-sleeping has done wonders for Jonas' attachment to us. Some studies have even shown that babies that co-sleep grow up to be more independent and self-assured as adults than babies who sleep alone. I'm not sure how reliable a study like that is because there are many other variables that come into play throughout a child's life. But I certainly think that co-sleeping can't hurt. The other argument I've heard is that parents don't sleep as well with a baby in their bed. There's a valid point there for sure! We have definitely had some rough nights, when the thought of putting Jonas to bed and not seeing him again until the next morning has been quite appealing. I have always seemed to need more sleep than the average person, and there have been nights with Jonas that I've thought "I can't do this anymore!" But I get up, drink some coffee, and make it through the day just fine. God has supplied all the strength I need. In general, Jonas has been getting better with sleeping. About a month ago Jonas started to be quite a bed hog and our bed was feeling very cramped. To give us more space I researched how to safely make his crib into a side car bed and that has been working really well. He typically spends most of the night in his crib, and just whimpers and rolls over to me when he wants to sleep closer. He slept through the night (without rolling over to be near me) for the first time last week! This week he was cutting a tooth and he never sleeps well when he's cutting teeth. We had a rough few days, but he got back on track again last night. All in all, the benefits of co-sleeping outweigh the negatives for us. I cherish the times that Jonas snuggles up to me and throws a chubby arm around my neck. I fall back asleep with his soft head under my chin and the sweet smell of his hair. Co-sleeping is not for every family. I'm not even trying to say that it is the best thing to do. It is, however, a good option and the best thing for our family.
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