6 Weeks

Ava will be six weeks old tomorrow. Tonight as I held her and watched her sleep I was reminded that Jonas was about six weeks old when he was found. It struck me again how small and helpless he must have been. We know that his birth mother was sick, but we assume that he was with her for those first weeks of his life. It must have been so difficult for her to leave him. She gave birth to him. She got to hold him, feed him, comfort him when he cried, and see his first smiles. She probably wondered who he would look like when he grew up and what his personality would be like. It brings tears to my eyes to think about this for two reasons. The first reason might be selfish. You see, I wish I had experienced Jonas' birth. I wish I had held him first, fed him, comforted him, and witnessed his first smiles. I wish he had never experienced such loss in his life. I wish he had not had to spend 6 months without parents. I will be forever grateful for the love the nannies at AWAA's transition home showed to him during that time, but still... He wasn't their son. He was just one of many special children to them, not a precious son. The second reason it brings tears to my eyes is because I feel sorry for Jonas' birth mother. I am his mommy. I'm the one who gets to comfort him when he is hurt, kiss him goodnight, and hear him yell "Mama!" when he sees me in the morning. I get to watch him grow and see his personality unfold. I am so blessed to have him in my life.

It is 11pm and I wish I had some kind of conclusion to this post, but I can't think of anything right now. The kids are sleeping, and I should be sleeping too! I will head to bed now, thinking about adoption and pregnancy and thanking God for both of my children.

Pictures

I don't have much time to blog anymore, but life is good! There is definitely no time to be bored around here. :) I have my moments of frustration when it seems like both kids need me at the same time, but I am learning how to be a better multi-tasker! I gain a little more confidence each time I try something new (like grocery shopping by myself with both kids). Ava sleeps pretty well, which is a huge help. I felt like a walking zombie after 5 weeks home with Jonas because I was so completely exhausted. When Ava has a rough night I remind myself that I survived for months on very little sleep each night, so a bad night here or there isn't going to kill me.

The other day I was feeling sorry for myself because I can't serve in church the way I would like to right now. I was feeling a little like my life didn't have much purpose, and then I realized that loving my children, spending time with them, teaching them, and raising them is my purpose right now. What an important purpose it is!

Ava is getting more alert and more interested in playing and interacting.In this picture, she looks so much like pictures of me at her age.

Jonas has become obsessed with letters lately. The ones on the side of the fridge are the ones he has learned to recognize and say. He also knows the letter O, but we've lost that magnet. :)

I guess he is on his way to literacy! :)

He still loves his little sister. He uses his toy truck as a step stool to look at her.
He also likes to pretend to be the baby. Here he is going "night night" in her seat.

We survived our first week with Ray back to work! It was actually a great week. So far Ray likes the new schedule he made for himself because he feels it helps him to be more focused throughout the day. And Jonas and I love seeing him at lunch-time! My parents have been stopping in for a visit about once a day, which has also been huge for me. I'm not looking forward to when they go back to Florida!

Ava normally wants to eat around 6:30am, so I've been using the time as she eats to read my Bible and pray. Starting my morning this way prepares my heart, mind, and attitudes for the day ahead and hopefully helps me to be a better mom. Of course, I can always find ways I fall short (I'd like to be Super-Mom) but I'm learning to give myself some grace.

Jonas is still doing well. There were a few times this week that he decided to misbehave to get attention, but we're working on that. Having 2 kids has forced us to make sure that we are really consistent in our discipline with Jonas. We always said that we would pick our battles, praise good behavior, and make sure that we disciplined the attitude of his heart more than just his actions. But I admit I sometimes used that as an excuse to ignore negative behavior when it didn't seem convenient to discipline him. Thankfully, we reminded ourselves that it is soooo important to be consistent (I know, that's basic Parenting 101), and sometimes that means giving him a time-out. He is already responding well to this by listening to us before a time-out is needed. He seems to have grown up so much since Ava was born. He's using more and more words and putting more of those words together in sentences. Here is the proud big brother holding his little sis.


Ava is growing and gaining weight! At her 2 week Doctor's appointment she was up to 7lbs 11oz. She has started having a bit of a fussy period in the evenings, but we are learning what she needs when she is like that. Here is our little Princess smiling!