Fall

I just realized it has been awhile since I've blogged. It seems like I've been pretty busy lately, and I haven't really had anything interesting to write about. But I know some of you read this blog for updates on our family, so I'll do my best to fill you in on what we've been up to!

The kids are doing great. Jonas is getting to be so big. He talks non-stop (mostly real words, but sometimes he makes up jibberish when he runs out of things to say), he still runs constantly with endless energy, and he LOVES going to preschool. He still likes pointing out the letters of the alphabet and can read both upper and lower case letters. He likes books about Curious George and lately he has been obsessed with pirates. He also really enjoys painting, coloring, and doing crafts. Recently at preschool each child was supposed to paint a leaf with their name on it to put on a tree in the room. His teachers noticed that Jonas was really into the project and they let him paint to his heart's content. He ended up painting ALL of the other leaves that don't have names on them on the tree below. To give you an idea of how many that is, there are only 7 other kids in his preschool class.

It is such a joy to watch him grow. In a couple of days we will celebrate the 2 year anniversary of "gotcha day", the day we met him. Time flies when you're having fun. :)

Ava is a baby on the move! She loves crawling around, playing and exploring. She seems pretty close to walking too! She learned how to pull to stand and cruise furniture a couple of months ago. Now she likes walking behind her push toys, and can walk holding onto only one of our hands. Jonas was so much older when he started to do these things, so 9 months old seems much too young to me!
I think the last time I wrote about her sleep habits, she was close to sleeping through the night in her own room. That is not the case anymore! At some point she stopped being able to settle herself to sleep, and then a couple months later started waking almost every hour all night long. I'm not a cry-it-out mom. I don't think it is bad or neglectful to train a child to sleep by a little crying, but I just can't do it. I know it's only supposed to take a couple of days of crying, but I hear the crying and everything in me tells me that I need to respond and console my kids. So that's what I do. I started bring Ava in to sleep in our bed, but I have to admit I was stressing a lot about it. She used to sleep well, so I felt like I must have done something wrong as a mother. We co-slept with Jonas, but for some reason I thought it would be different with Ava. I know other moms who rock or nurse their babies to sleep, and those babies still sleep all night. So I felt like I must have really messed up somewhere along the line. So finally, a very wise woman (my mom) said to me, "Lisa, I think you need to take the stress out of bedtime. If Ava wants to sleep with you, let her." She actually leaned over and whispered that to me in church, and it was weird because I had just been thinking about Ava's sleep. I was thinking about the verse "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." As I thought about it I wondered if letting Ava sleep in my bed was actually a way to deny myself and serve God by serving my kids. Don't make me explain my theology here, it's just what I was thinking. So, ever since then I actually like having Ava snuggle next to me all night and I feel well rested every morning when I wake up. My sweet husband (who happens to be a wonderful father) said to me the other day, "You know, I really like that our kids sleep with us." So, there you have it. It works really well for our family!

In other news, I am almost finished with training for a new job as a WIC Breastfeeding Peer Counselor. It is only going to be a couple of hours a week, so I am doing it in addition to my other job right now. The nice thing about it is that the hours are very flexible, and I can do a lot of it from home by phone. Plus, I love the idea of being able to help other moms with questions and concerns about breastfeeding. I'll have to see how the job goes, but I am already thinking that if I ever go back to school I think I would like to become a Certified Lactation Consultant! But school is the last thing on my mind right now. I probably wouldn't be ready to go back until my kids are in school, and by then... who knows what I'll feel like doing! :)

A Picture Outing

I took the kids to get their pictures taken at Target today. The pictures are cute, but I have a feeling that years from now I will look at them and smile, remembering what it was really like to get them taken.

A few months ago my parents bought the kids matching outfits and my mom mentioned that she thought it would be cute to have their picture taken together. I decided about a week ago that I needed to get that picture taken soon, before the summer was over and they grew out of the clothes. Ray is preaching tomorrow and was going to be working on his sermon this morning. So I decided that today would be a good day to take the kids somewhere to get their picture taken. It would get us out of the house and allow Ray some quiet time to work. I looked online to find a nearby portrait studio with the best prices. Target's site had a big coupon for a free 8x10 with the purchase of a $7.99 portrait package (1 8x10, 2 5x7's, 4 3x5's, and wallets). Perfect! I love a good bargain and I figured I couldn't beat a $7.99 portrait package. I couldn't do it that cheaply if I took the picture myself and printed enlargements. I don't have a printer so I couldn't print the coupon, but I decided I didn't need the free 8x10. So I called Target and they had openings for appointments today. I was hoping for an 11am appointment because it would interfere the least with the kids naps. Just my luck, they had an 11:20am appointment open. 11am would have been better, but 11:20am was close enough. When I asked for the 11:20am appointment the girl asked me if I would be able to make it on time. I wondered if she knew what it was like to get out the door with 2 small kids, but I was determined I would be actually be 5 minutes early.

So, Ava wakes up from her nap, I get the kids dressed and we're out the door. The only problem was that Ava wasn't interested in eating before we left, but I figured she would be OK at least until the pictures were done. Then, if I had to, I could feed her in the car. I had an ounce of expressed milk in the fridge that I decided to take along, just in case she wanted to eat a little in the middle of the photo shoot. It would be enough to hold her over, I thought. So, we get into the store so far so good. The outfits are still clean, and Jonas doesn't object when I strap him into the shopping cart so he can't run ahead of me. I get to the portrait studio area and wait a bit while they are helping other customers. Jonas starts getting antsy, and I realize that Ava is getting hungry. Not good. I take out the bottle I brought and offer it to her. It was the first time I had given her a bottle since I was trying to teach her how to take one before I went back to work. I was surprised at how quickly and easily she drank from it now. Much too quickly. She drained it fast and I didn't have any more. Finally the photographer tells me that they are running about 20 minutes behind. Not good at all. I contemplate canceling, but I got the kids dressed and out the door. We could stick it out. I decide to take the kids to the restroom to feed Ava. She hates eating under a blanket, so I usually end up feeding her while standing in a bathroom stall when we are out in public. When we get into Target's restroom, I find that the handicap stall is actually large enough to push the shopping cart into it and close the door. But my luck ends there because it's too loud and Ava is too distracted to eat. I'm sure much of the distraction came from Jonas who thought that sitting in a shopping cart in the bathroom was great fun. He kept excitedly shouting "go to the potty!" and screaming for the fun of hearing his voice echo. So, back to the portrait studio area we go. It seems the ounce I gave Ava is holding her over for now.

Finally we get to go in to get the pictures taken! See cute pictures above. I think the photographer felt bad because we didn't get a lot of great shots. Jonas was too excited to sit still for long, and by the end of it Ava was trying to eat the mini-couch she was sitting on. I thought we got some great ones, considering.

But now we have to order the pictures and Ava is starting to cry from hunger. I tell the girl that I want the $7.99 portrait package. Apparently the coupon (that I didn't print) for the free 8x10 with $7.99 package is the only way to get the $7.99 package. If I had read a little more closely I might have understood that I could only get the portrait package for $7.99 with the coupon. I think it was a little misleading though. Why didn't the coupon just say it was for a $7.99 portrait package, and list 2 8x10's as part of the package? And anyway, I have a 2 year old and an almost 7 month old who has just started to crawl. I don't have a lot of time to read things closely.

So the girl is going through her sales pitch trying to sell me pictures for over $100, Ava is crying, and Jonas (thankfully) is sitting quietly in the cart eating a peanut butter sandwich I had packed for him. Ava is so hungry she decides it's worth it to be covered up and gives up and eats under a blanket. I breath a sigh of relief and finally focus on looking at the pictures. I tell the girl I want to keep it pretty basic, and I end up ordering 1 8x10, 2 5x7's and a 4x10. The total comes to over $60. Yikes. So much for my bargain. But I walk out of the store feeling pretty good about things. Yes, it was more expensive, but I have thought of ways to cut back on some other spending to make up for it. Ava and Jonas have eaten and are in good moods. They will fall asleep on the ride home and Jonas will be tired enough to go back to sleep for his full nap when we get home. But my relief was a bit premature. After I put the cart away I tell Jonas that I will take his little bowl of crackers that he is carefully carrying with both hands so that I can hold his hand until we get to the car. I tell him he can have it back in the car. But seeing me put it in my bag sent him into a meltdown and he threw himself onto the pavement in a temper tantrum. Finally, we make it to the car and head home. It was so stressful, but I am already finding the humor in it. Just a day in the life of this mommy.

We Love Summer!

Summer has always been my favorite season of the year. Growing up and living in Western NY, I have always cherished the few months of the year that I can walk outside without a jacket and just enjoy some sunshine. I have great childhood memories of long summer days spent swimming, bike riding, playing at the playground, having picnics in our front yard, camping, staring at the clouds in the sky, and playing with friends. As a mom, I love spending time with the kids outside, watching Jonas delight in the same things I enjoyed as a kid. Jonas would spend his entire day outside if given the option. He is such an active little boy, and we all go a little stir-crazy if he can't get out and burn off some energy!



Coming soon... Ava turns 6 months old in a week and I'll be starting her on solid foods. She's growing up too quickly! She has learned that she can get where she wants to go by rolling around, and I wonder if she is going to start crawling soon. She got up on her hands and knees and pushed backwards several times today. She can't wait to get moving and follow her big brother around. I can hope they decide to move in the same general direction, can't I? :)
Also, we are approaching the 2 year anniversary of the day we got Jonas' referral. I can't believe it's been 2 years already! God has blessed us so much!!

Memorial Day

A year ago on Memorial Day we found out we were pregnant with our little girl! I wish I could say I was as elated at the news as I always imagined I would be when we were trying to get pregnant. But I was mostly just scared! Jonas hadn't even started to walk yet, we were still working through some attachment issues with him, and he was still waking several times a night. Sure, he was 14 months old, but he had only been with us for a few months, and I felt like I was cheating him to add another baby to the family so soon after he came home. And I was EXHAUSTED! Jonas had just started to crawl, was getting into everything, and was (and always has been) more than a little strong-willed. I realize now that I was tired because I was pregnant, and not because I was an incapable mother. But I didn't make that connection at the time. I also worried about how others would react to the news of our pregnancy. I can't explain it well, but I felt like people would think that the child I carried in my womb was somehow more MY child than Jonas was. I don't know why I worried about what people would think because it really doesn't matter. Jonas couldn't be any more my son than he already is, and other people's ignorance about adoption can't change that. I guess I was just feeling over-protective of him. So I was scared about how a new baby would fit into our lives, but underneath those feelings I was also scared that I might miscarry and never meet this new son or daughter growing inside of me. You see, even though I was scared, I always WANTED Ava. I started "mothering" her right away, suddenly thinking very hard about everything I ate and everything I did to make sure I took care of her from the very beginning. It was something I never got to do for Jonas. When I was "expecting" Jonas I couldn't take care of him, but I often prayed for the health of his birth mother. I enjoyed being able to take care of Ava from the very beginning.

This Memorial Day, it was nice to celebrate Ava's life without any of the fear I had last year! Jonas has grown up so much in a year. He is well adjusted, attached to us, and he loves his little sister! He sleeps through the night consistently now (in his own room), and even falls asleep on his own. Ava is healthy, beautiful, happy, and social. I love being greeted by her huge smiles when I pick her up out of her crib in the mornings. I've adjusted to taking care of two children, and our family somehow feels more complete now than it was before. We are Mom, Dad, Brother, and Sister. I'm so glad that God has planned our family he way that he has. I don't believe that He is finished with our family yet. We want to adopt again, and I'd kinda like to experience pregnancy and childbirth again. Ray and I have talked about what that might look like and when we'd like to see it happen, but I won't pretend anymore that I know what God's plans are for our family. We'll just keep seeking Him and go along for the ride!

Life Lessons From a Two Year Old

1) When all else fails, real empathy is being willing to sit down with someone in their pain. A few weeks ago the nursery director at our church told us a little story about Jonas. Jonas got to the nursery late that day, and before he got there a little boy had started to cry. The adults in the room tried to console him, distract him, engage him in an activity, etc, but he could not be comforted. He just sat himself in the corner and cried. The other children in the room tried to stay away from him, and the adults finally just left him alone. The nursery director said that as soon as Jonas arrived in the nursery he noticed the little boy crying in the corner. She said he walked right over to him and started talking to him. When the little boy ignored him he laid down next to him and started patting his back. He stayed with him there, laying next to him and rubbing his back, until the little boy stopped crying and got up to play with Jonas. I can't tell you how much it touched my heart to hear about my son's compassion and empathy toward this little boy. I like to think that I am compassionate and empathetic, but sometimes I am like those other kids and adults in the nursery. I'm not sure how to offer comfort, and I convince myself that the person probably doesn't want me around anyway. But Jonas reminded me of the difference between pity and compassion, and between sympathy and empathy.

2) Stop and enjoy the beauty of the journey. Taking a walk with Jonas can be annoying if you want to go somewhere quickly. If I let Jonas get out of his stroller to walk, it will take us FOREVER to get where we are going. He likes to stop and look at everything. I can let myself get impatient, or I can try to see the world through his eyes. When I do that, every stick and dandelion is a treasure, and where we are going isn't as important as how we get there.

3) Tell the people you care about how much you love them. Jonas has recently learned how to say "I love you". The other day, he was sitting next to me and I had Ava on my lap. Out of nowhere he threw his arms around Ava in a hug and yelled, "Baby, I love you!!".


I love watching my little boy grow up!

Family Photos

We had family photos taken this weekend by our friend Megan. Meg is a senior at Roberts Wesleyan college. She is an extremely talented photographer, and we were blessed to have her take our pictures before she graduates this coming weekend. She spent about an hour with us in our backyard and the playground next door and gave us 192 pictures! The thing I like most about Meg's photographs is that they are really natural. We just interacted with each other, and somehow she captured some really sweet moments.

Here are just a few of my favorites.

Meg also used our family as the subject of a series of mini-documentaries for her film classes. The focus of the documentaries was our adoption of Jonas. She did one while we were waiting for Jonas to come home, one just after he came home, and the most recent one shortly after Ava was born. Here is a link to the most recent one.

http://www.vimeo.com/11201543

Meg has a passion for social justice, a heart like Jesus, and a love for the poor, the oppressed, widows, orphans, and aliens. I look forward to seeing where God leads Meg and the stories he has for her to tell. I believe He will use her in some big ways!

Ava's Infant Dedication

"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord"

I Samuel 1:27-28

In response to God's love and the gift of Ava's life, we dedicated her to the Lord in church on Sunday. Ray performed Jonas' dedication, and that was very special to us. But this time we decided it would be nice if Ray took off his pastor hat for a few moments to just be one of the dads. There were four infants dedicated during the service, all born within four weeks of each other. Two of the couples had experienced secondary infertility and one of the couples lost their first baby when she was only a few days old. Then there was us... blessed by both adoption and pregnancy. It was a very special dedication service.

Ava wore the dress that I wore when my parents baptized me as an infant. I'm glad they kept it. Maybe someday I will have a grand-daughter who can wear it. :)

To my children,
Jonas, you are my long awaited first child. Ava, you are my beautiful surprise. Both of you are gifts from God and I love you both so much. You are God's creations- unique, special, and greatly loved. He has great plans for your lives! My greatest prayer for you as your mother is that you will come to understand the love of Christ and who God has made you to be in Him. I pray that you will discover the unique blend of talents, abilities, and heart's passions that he has placed in you and that you will grow up to be people of compassion, mercy, and love.

Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, Back to Work I Go!

I just finished my first week back at work and we all survived! Actually, I think we did better than survive. Everything went really smoothly. Thank you to all of you who prayed for Ava to accept the bottle! She finally started taking one again about a week before I had to go back to work. I was actually about to give up and I called La Leche League for advise on how to feed with a cup, spoon, or medicine dropper. The woman I spoke with encouraged me to keep trying the bottle, especially since Ava had taken one already. She also said it would do no harm for me to try to give her one because our nursing relationship was well established by that point. Talking with her was great because it gave me hope and more determination, and later that same day Ava finally took the bottle! Then for a few days she would only drink a bottle if I was the one giving it to her, as if she decided that food could only come from me. But the night before I had to go to work she drank an entire bottle for Ray. That gave us both a lot of peace of mind when I went to work the next day! So far it has worked well to feed Ava before I leave for work and as soon as I get home. On my 4 and 4 1/2 hour shifts she takes one bottle. On my 7 1/2 shift she took a bottle in the afternoon, I went home to feed her on my dinner break, and she took another bottle in the evening. So far so good!

Halfway through my 4 hour shift on my first night back I texted Ray to see how things were going at home. His text back to me still cracks me up. He wrote, "Good. It took 45 minutes but Ava drank over 3 ounces. Jonas got artistic with pudding, can open the cupboard door under the sink (with the child locks), and got time out for not stopping putting milk on the window when I told him 3 times to stop. I think he didn't think I'd put him in time out while feeding Ava & he cried a lot but he got over it." It made me laugh because as chaotic as it seemed it was reassuring to me because everything sounded pretty normal. They were doing just fine without me! :)

Here are some recent pictures:

We went to the Zoo on Good Friday. Here Jonas is looking at the rhinos, which he prefers to call "hippos".

The weather was really warm Easter weekend. Ava got to wear this super cute summer dress on Saturday!

This was Easter morning. We were leaving for church a little late, and this is the best shot I could get of both the kids together!

Happy Day!

Monday was Jonas' 2nd birthday! I think it was a fun day for him. We had been telling him that his 2nd birthday was coming and that he would get to eat cake. Each time we talked about it he would say, "Happy day!" or "Happy day cake." He seemed very excited when he woke up Monday and I sang Happy Birthday to him. He went to his preschool class at church in the morning like he does every Monday, and at snack time I came in with mini-cupcakes for his class. That evening my brother and sister-in-law came over for dinner. I think Jonas' favorite part of the day was the cake. :)

Here he is trying to blow out his candle.

He got his fork into the cake before I was able to cut it. I thought it was out of his reach!

He is trying to be patient while I cut him the piece he claimed with his fork.

Finally, the birthday boy gets to eat his cake! :)

I know he is 2 years old now, but I just can't believe how much he has grown up in the past few months. He can now point out all of the letters of the alphabet. He can say almost all of them too. He speaks in more sentences, though most of those sentences begin with "I need" or "I want". He is two, after all. The other day he woke up from his nap saying "I need to go on the moon". I wasn't sure I was hearing him correctly until he said, "I wanna go in the sky". I asked him how he would get to the moon and he said, "in the sky". Then I asked him how he would get in the sky and he said, "get daddy car". Oh, I wish I knew what he had been dreaming about during that nap!

Speaking of naps, sleep has been going pretty well. We are now sitting a few feet from his door when we put him to bed. He usually tries to get out of bed a few times at nap time, but he usually doesn't try at all at bedtime, He is also sleeping through the night more nights than not. I think moving out of the door will be a big step for all of us. I'm not sure when we're going to try that, but I think I'd like to see him settle down as easily at nap time as he does at bedtime. I'm not sure that will happen though!

Ava is doing well. I recently moved her into the crib in her own room. Our room shares a wall with Jonas' and our bed and Jonas' bed are on the same wall. It seemed like her cries at night were waking Jonas up, and she was waking up when he would make noise in his sleep. Since I've moved her she is sleeping longer and longer. She usually wakes up around 3:30 or 4am and then sleeps until morning. I have started putting her in her crib when she is still awake (a big step for me). She is able to settle herself to sleep 95% of the time when I do this. If she cries I settle her and then usually put her back in the crib very sleepy but still awake. She will fall asleep easily from there. I am hoping that she can continue this.
The bad news is that she is refusing the drink from a bottle again. She had been doing pretty well and then got sick with a cold. I decided not to push bottle feeding because she was having trouble breathing out of her nose. I figured she knew how to drink from a bottle, she just needed to get more efficient at it. So we didn't try giving her a bottle for about 5 days. I guess that was a big mistake because now she completely refuses to drink from the bottle. She will occasionally suck on it a bit, but then she will spit that milk out of her mouth. I've tried different temperatures for the milk, but it doesn't seem to help. I tried feeding her with a medicine dropper, but she choked on that too. If she doesn't accept the bottle in a few days I may try a cup. I have 12 days until I go back to work and I'm getting really nervous! Your prayers would be greatly appreciated. I would also welcome any of you who live locally to come over and try to feed her! :) I don't think she is going to take a bottle from me. Ray is not home during the day to try, but evenings are not Ava's best time of day. So seriously, if you are interested in trying to feed her, leave me a comment (If you get these posts via email, you will have to leave a comment here on the blog because we can't access the email address for the blog anymore). On the bright side, when it becomes apparent that Ava is not going to drink the milk, I pour it into a sippy cup and give it to Jonas. Don't laugh at me! I don't know if Jonas was ever breastfed. I am not sure what kind of health benefit a few ounces of breast milk a day can really have for a 2 year old, but I figure it can't hurt! :)

Lessons and Life

Jonas and Ava are both learning new skills this week! I'll start with Ava. I have to go back to work part-time the first week of April (Boo!!). So, about a month ago we started trying to get Ava to learn to drink from a bottle. We didn't try every day, and only for about 10-15 minutes each time we tried. She wasn't getting the hang of it though. I decided we needed to step it up a bit this week to make sure she knows how to eat when I'm at work. I really wish we could just forget about it, but I have to work and she has to eat, so bottle drinking is an important skill. Monday she actually drank 2oz of pumped milk from the bottle. It took her almost an hour. She fussed some, rolled it around on her tongue a lot, and choked some. I felt horrible that she was struggling with it when we both knew there was an easier solution to her hunger. But she drank the 2oz in the bottle and then I nursed her. Tuesday she only drank 1oz before she fell asleep. So we left it at that and I just nursed her when she woke up. Yesterday she guzzled 4oz (it took an hour again, but she drank most of it in the last 15 minutes). She still wanted to eat more after she was done with the 4oz, so I nursed her again when she finished. I'm starting to think I'm going to have to freeze more milk in case she decides to drink it all my first day back to work! :) Today she only drank about 2oz, and it took an hour again. But I think she is doing pretty well for day four of a new skill. Hopefully she will perfect the skill in the next 3 weeks so that I won't be even more worried about her when I go back to work than I already will be.

She just gets cuter by the day!

Jonas is learning the new skill of falling asleep on his own. Some may think we're crazy for not teaching him this skill sooner, but I don't regret the way we did things. But, the time for him to learn to sleep independently is now. He has been in his own room since we moved into our house in November, but he still needed us to lay down with him to fall asleep. He occasionally slept through the night, but most nights he still woke up and needed us to lay down in his room so that he could go to sleep again. It worked fine, but lately he has been taking 30-40 minutes to fall asleep. It is impossible for me to get him to sleep if I am the only adult at home because if Ava is awake at all, Jonas will not settle down. I prayed about it, and thankfully Ray also felt the same way without me bringing it up to him. So, this is what we're doing. We follow our normal routine (Diaper change & books for nap. Bath, PJ's, prayers, & books for bedtime). When we would normally lay down with him to sleep, we give him a snuggle and a kiss and tell him it is time to sleep. Then we sit next to his bed with our head down. If he gets out of bed we give him a kiss and tell him again it is time to sleep. After that we just gently put him back in bed every time he gets out without looking at him or talking to him. Naptime yesterday took 2 hours before he finally laid down and fell asleep. It stunk. He acted like it was a fun game to see how many times he could get out of bed. But thankfully he didn't seem scared or upset. He woke up his normal happy self. Bedtime only took 10 minutes! He did wake up 3 times in the night, but went back to sleep pretty quickly each time. Naptime today took about 35 minutes (about what it took the old way). Hopefully he will continue to improve. Once he stops testing how many times he can get out of bed, we will start to gradually sit farther and farther away from his bed until we are out the door. It may take awhile, but we have time. It may get worse before it gets better, but that's ok. We have a plan and it seems to be working. Please pray with us that it will work!

Even though we are teaching some difficult lessons to our kids right now, I can say that I am loving being a mom! The weather the past week has been nice enough to get outside and go for a walk or play at the playground every afternoon. Jonas gets to burn off some energy, Ava sleeps in my front-carrier, and I get to enjoy the fresh air!