Mama, Da-ee, Bapa, Nana, Papa...

Jonas has a vocabulary of about 25-30 words. Here he is practicing family names in the bathtub. He knows how to say Ava, but for some reason he thinks it's funny to refuse to say it. Hmmmm... is this predictive of the kind of big brother he's going to be?

Peek-a-Boo!

Prayer for Baby Ava

We've had a couple of ultrasounds that show that Ava's stomach is midline in her abdomen, instead of off to the left like it should be. Thankfully, everything else appears completely normal and healthy. The perinatologist that spoke with us after the last ultrasound explained that when they find something abnormal in an ultrasound they try to rule out birth defects and problems that could go along with that abnormality. Everything they know that could be wrong was ruled out. The only thing they can't see is whether or not the intestines are rotating normally. The technology just doesn't allow them to see that detail. If the intestines are not rotating normally it could cause an intestinal blockage. There was no blockage at this time though. The perinatologist told us that we could be "cautiously reassured" that the baby will be fine, but he couldn't say for sure. I would rather have some plain reassurance without the caution, but we are trusting that Ava is in God's care. I'd just like to ask for your prayers that the Lord will continue to protect her as he forms her in the womb, and that there will be no intestinal blockages (or other complications) now or after she's born.

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Psalm 139: 13-14

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything,
by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,
present your requests to God.
Philippians 4:6

Introducing the Newest Member of the Hammond Family!

According to the ultrasound, it's a girl! We will name her Ava Grace Hammond. In Spanish Eva (pronounced Ava) is Eve, and Eve means Life. So her name will mean "Life Grace", for by God's grace he has given us this little life. I just keep thinking about how much God has blessed us recently. There were times a few years ago that it seemed like we would never know the joy of parenthood. Both pregnancy and adoption seemed so far out of reach. Now we have a son and a daughter, and know the miracle of adoption and pregnancy! God's love and strength were with us when we were in the midst of the pain of infertility, and his blessings and healing have been poured out on us by first giving us Jonas and now Ava. Wow. I feel so inadequate to receive such blessings. But that's the awesome thing about God. He blesses us simply because He is Love!

In other news, we are in the process of buying our first house! That's another thing that I thought was impossible that God has made possible. I'll write more on that later!

Splish Splash

I just found out there is a spray park in a town very close to where we live. I wish I had known about it at the beginning of the summer! Jonas had a lot of fun running around in the water. His facial expressions were sometimes hilarious. It was hard to get good pictures without getting the camera wet, but here are a few. After our fun at the park, Grandma took us to Abbott's for Frozen custard. Yum! It was a fun afternoon.

The Little Drummer Boy

Vacation

Ray's Papa Gerlach turned 80 years old and had a family party in Ohio last weekend. We decided to make it a mini-vacation to visit family. So Thursday night we traveled to Beaver Falls, PA (home of our Alma Mater) to stay with Ray's brother Tim and his family. Jonas had a great time playing with his 3 cousins and getting spoiled by his Aunt Amy. Friday morning we all drove about an hour away to Ohio where Ray's grandparents live. His parents were staying there also. So, after a long nap Jonas got to visit with his Nana and Papa Hammond, Uncle Bryan, Uncle David, Aunt Raelynn, and great Grandma and Papa Hammond. On Saturday we drove about 2 hours away to another part of Ohio for the birthday party. Jonas got to meet all his relatives on that side of the family for the first time. On Monday we drove to Mahaffey, PA to stay at the Alliance camp with Ray's parents. Ray's sister (who is 10 years old) was going to a horse camp for the week there. Jonas had lots of fun there too, getting spoiled by his Nana and Papa and Uncle Bryan. It was a ton of driving, but we had a great time. Here are some pictures of our week.

We went to some really fun play-grounds

We did a lot of walking.

We swam in Great Grandma and Papa's pool. Jonas LOVED the waterslide!

Kissing Aunt RaeLynn

With Cousin Alycia and Aunt RaeLynn

Jonas did a lot of his napping in different places. He was a trooper!

Referral-versary!

1 year ago- Jonas Ekra at 4 months old (referral pictures)

One year ago today we received the referral of a chubby-cheeked 4 month old baby boy named Ekra. It was one of the best days of our lives. I remember just staring at the four pictures we had of him for days and days. I even put his picture on my nightstand so that I could look at him in the middle of the night if I woke up and forgot what he looked like! :) We used to try to figure out what his personality was like through the pictures. We decided he must be a quiet and serious little guy who loved to sleep. Ha! We couldn't have been more wrong! :) Over the next 3 1/2 months that we were apart, we thought about him constantly, prayed for him constantly, and grew more and more in love with him.

Life for the Hammond family has changed in so many ways in the past year! Now I don't have to wonder what Jonas is doing (other than wondering what kind of trouble he's finding when he goes into another room and gets quiet!). I don't have to wonder if he is sick or well, happy or sad. He makes his emotions VERY evident to us. :) I don't have to stare at his picture to try to imagine his personality. Although, I do sometimes have to fight the urge to sneak into his room to stare at him while he's sleeping, in awe of the fact that I get to be the one to be his mommy. I am convinced that parenting is THE toughest job on the planet. It requires me to have an endless supply of energy even when I feel like I want to sleep all day. It requires patience that I sometimes don't want to give, and it requires wisdom that I don't feel I have. Thankfully, God is more than willing to supply what I lack and to help me to be the best mom that I can be. I pray that I will be the mom that Jonas deserves, and that I will be continually growing so that I can guide him and raise him up in the way that he should go. I pray that I will be an example to Jonas of what a relationship with a living and loving God looks like. Most of all, I pray that Christ's love will be evident in my life and that God will help me to parent Jonas the way that he parents me- with endless patience and unconditional love.

Parenting is the toughest job I've ever had, but also the most rewarding and delightful job I've ever had. I'm so honored and humbled that God chose me to be the mom of Jonas Ekra. Today I am celebrating the anniversary of the day I first laid eyes on my baby boy and I praise the One who brought us together as a family!

Jonas now- 16 months old and at home

Fun with Food

Jonas is becoming more independent at mealtimes, preferring to use the spoon or fork himself. Apparently though, this is what happens when you give him a spoon and his yogurt and turn your back for a second to make your own breakfast.

Summer Fun

An Update and Some Big News

It seems like it's been awhile since I've blogged about what we're up to here! Jonas is 15 months old now, and he's been with us for 8 months. He's developed a fake laugh that he likes to use when he's trying to be silly and wants us to laugh at him. He likes to make silly faces and then do his fake laugh. He's such an expressive and funny kid! He started walking a few weeks ago, and is constantly on the run now. If he sees something he wants to get into when we're carrying him he will tell us, "down, down". He becomes very insistent if we don't let him down right away. With all this new freedom he's been testing his boundaries and is having trouble listening! He keeps us busy!! He loves to get out of the house and "go" anywhere we take him. In the morning he will often start pointing to the door saying "go, go, go". He doesn't care if we stay in our own yard, go to a playground, go grocery shopping, visit people, or whatever else we might do, as long as we get out of the house. I don't blame him, but sometimes it's hard to think of things to go do! The other day Ray was at the church preparing a sermon when Jonas woke up from his nap. Jonas said "go" and I asked him where he wanted to go. He thought for a second and said "daddy!". So, we drove to the church to visit daddy. :)

As much as he loves to be on the go, he also loves to cuddle. He's always given lots of kisses, but he also loves to gives hugs now. I love that!

Finally, the great news is that he decided about a week and a half ago that he would start sleeping through the night in his own room! One night he was sleeping in our bed and waking up 2-3 times a night (on a good night), and the next night he just decided to sleep in his room until 5am. At 5am we brought him into our room and he slept until 8am. He's had about 3 nights since then that he didn't sleep through the night, but I feel like we're making major progress. I think it helps that we've finally found a teddy bear that he likes (thank you Aunt Deb and Uncle Jon!). I'm hoping and praying that his sleep will continue to improve and that it will become more consistent as he gets a little older. Right now he's sleeping in the pack n' play in his room because his crib is attached to our bed. I'm going to give him another week of sleeping and then detach the crib from our bed and put it back in his room.

The fact he is learning to sleep better has come at a good time because..... I'M PREGNANT! I'm in my 12th week and my due date is 1/15/10. We were quite surprised and initially a little overwhelmed at the thought of having 2 kids less than 2 years apart. But we are excited. I can't believe Jonas is going to be a big brother! He still seems so little. Every night when we pray with him we ask God to help him to get ready for the big transition that is coming. On a side note, people often told us that we would get pregnant and "have one of our own" after adopting. I just want to clarify that Jonas is our own child, and this next child will be the second one of our own!

Father and Son

I'm so thankful I get to share the job of parenting with Ray. Jonas absolutely adores his "da-eee" (daddy), and it's no surprise to me that he does. His daddy reads to him, makes up silly songs to sing to him, feeds him, bathes him, rocks him, kisses his boo-boos, dresses him, changes him, tickles him, chases him, rewards him, disciplines him, holds him, and plays with his toys with him. He's not afraid of a dirty diaper or a temper tantrum. He does all of the things that I do with Jonas with his own daddy style (which usually means more fun than mommy's style). Plus, Ray plays guitar or bass in church, which pretty much makes him a rock star in Jonas' eyes. So today I'd like to wish my husband a happy first Father's Day, or in the words of Jonas "HI DA-EEE!!!!"

Jonas Gets His Groove On

Jonas loves music.  At church I never take him to the nursery until the music is over because he always enjoys it so much.  He usually gets the treat of banging on the drums after LIVE (the youth service) and he always amazes us with his rhythm and ability to use both drum sticks correctly. At home, his favorite toys are a cheap electric keyboard and a toy guitar I bought at a garage sale for a dollar.  Last weekend we stayed at Lighthouse Christian Camp and we took his guitar along. Our friend Dave Simpson "played" it while Jonas showed off his dance moves.  Enjoy the video!

Do Something

We've just started a new series in LIVE (our Sunday morning worship service for teens) and Fuel (teen small groups) called Do Something. For the next 5 weeks, Ray and his team will be making students aware of problems in the world (such as poverty, AIDS, disease, pollution, oppression, slavery, and hunger) and challenging them to do something about it. They will be collecting new and gently used shoes to donate locally and abroad, and beginning the long-term sponsorship of a little boy from Haiti. At the end of the series, they will have the opportunity to participate in World Vision's 30 Hour Famine. They will get sponsors to raise money to fight hunger, fast for 30 hours, and come together to worship, have fun, look at what God's Word has to say about the poor, and serve the community together. I decided to share with you some of what the teens will be learning.

Did you know that 25,000 people die every day from hunger and related causes, and that every 6 seconds a child dies from hunger? The problem is not that there isn't enough food in the world. There is enough food in the world to provide every human being with about 4.3 pounds of food every day. The problem is that many people are too poor to buy any of the abundance of food that exists.

Did you know that there are more slaves in the world today than in 400 years of the Trans-Atlantic slave trade?

Did you know that one billion people live on less than a dollar a day? Did you know that if you have food, clothing, shelter, a car, and some change in your pocket, you are richer than 80% of the world's population?

Did you know that in Africa, AIDS is wiping out an entire generation of people, leaving over 15 million orphans behind? In one of my favorite books, There Is No Me Without You, Melissa Fay Greene discusses the statistics from the year 2000, when there were 12 million AIDS orphans. She writes, "Who was teaching twelve million orphans to swim? Who was signing 12 million permission slips for school field trips? Who packed twelve million school lunches? Who cheered at twelve million soccer games? Who was going to buy twelve million pairs of sneakers that light up when you jump? Backpacks? Toothbrushes? Twelve million pairs of socks? Who will tell twelve million bedtimes stories? Who will quiz twelve million children on Thursday nights for their Friday-morning spelling tests? Twelve million trips to the dentist? Twelve million birthday parties?........ Who will help them grow up, choose the right person to marry, find work, and learn to parent their own children? Well, as it turns out, no one. Or very few. There aren't enough adults to go around. Although in Western industrialized states HIV/AIDS has become a chronic condition rather than a death sentence, in Africa a generation of parents, teachers, nurses, professors, spiritual leaders, musicians, poets, coaches, farmers, bankers, and business owners are being erased."

We, as Americans, are blessed to live in a country where we have the freedom to live, work, and worship the way we please. We are blessed to have access to clean water, food, medical care, and shelter. And yet, I think too many of us are oblivious to the problems in the world. We sit around in our comfortable living-rooms debating whether Bush or Obama have the right domestic and foreign policies. We demand that those coming to our country to seek a better life (often escaping poverty, oppression, and corruption) learn to speak English fluently as if they enjoy having a language barrier, or as if they don't have other things to worry about (like feeding their families). Today I want to challenge myself and all of you to live lives full of compassion, love, and generosity. I urge us to look beyond our needs, wants, preferences, and prejudices, and to allow God's love to radiate from us. Let's be known for our love, not judgement and not condemnation.

So what can we do? The problems are indeed too large for one person to tackle on their own. But together, we can make a difference. There are many opportunities available if you want to help out. I just want to share one with you. Ray and I recently joined the Mocha Club, and aid organization in Africa. It's ONLY $7 a month (the cost of 2 mochas) and you can choose how you want your money to help. Their projects include education, HIV/AIDS, job creation, orphan care, and Sudan regrowth. We chose to contribute to HIV/AIDS education, medical attention, and job opportunities for those infected. If you're interested in joining our team, go to
http://mochaclub.org/joinme/JonasEkra. Or, choose your own project to support! By the way, I NEED AFRICA MORE THAN AFRICA NEEDS ME. To find out why, go to www.mochaclub.org and watch the video on the home page.

6 Months, Attachment, and Sleep

Today is the 6 month anniversary of the day we brought Jonas back to our hotel and started our new role as parents. I still get teary when I think about how God brought us together as a family. Jonas was orphaned, but he was never outside of the care of his Heavenly Father. And when we were going through infertility, God didn't give us what we thought we wanted because he knew what was even better. He brought indescribable beauty from ashes.

It seems like we've been a family for much longer than just 6 months, but when I think about that day I can still feel all the emotions I felt as we walked out of the transition home gates with Jonas in our arms. I was elated and terrified! The next few days were a blur of night feedings and blow-out diapers and trying to learn what Jonas wanted and needed. It seemed like the other babies in our travel group were always pretty calm and able to go with the flow throughout the day. Not Jonas. He seemed to either be overly excited and happy, or crying with a rage I didn't know was possible for such a small guy. We thought he just had big personality and that maybe he was more than a little strong willed. Looking back on it now, I realize that he was probably pretty scared and was going through a lot of grieving. I had read so many things about adoption before we met Jonas that I'm surprised I didn't see his grief for what it was. Maybe I was in a bit of denial. Or maybe it was because he seemed to attach to us pretty quickly. After only a couple of days with us he refused to let anyone else hold him. He seemed to do well on other points on attachment checklists too. He always made good eye contact, smiled at us, imitated us, etc. I can see now that he was attaching to us, but he wasn't attached yet. True and secure attachment is a tricky process that takes time, especially when the child has experienced disruptions in caregivers. Signs of trouble with attachment can be very subtle, and can be easy for a first time parent to overlook. I found an attachment checklist and started to pay attention to things after we had been home a while. I noticed some things that made me wonder if Jonas was having trouble with attachment. It almost seemed like he regressed in his attachment after we had been home about 3 months and I started working part time. Like I said, the signs were very subtle, such as not letting us comfort him when he was hurt, biting us when we were too close to his face (which I initially just thought was teething),etc. I also learned that sleep trouble is a major sign of attachment difficulties. Sometimes I think I was looking for problems that weren't there, but I am glad we paid attention to attachment and did everything we could to promote it. I can see now that we've all grown in the area of attachment in the past 6 months. We loved Jonas from the beginning, but adjusting to parenthood took some time. Jonas has adjusted as well. We no longer see that rage that used to come out in the form of inconsolable crying. He adapts to new situations very easily now and always seems to just go with the flow. He still has big personality, but he's a completely different kid than he was 6 months ago. Here he is "helping" daddy unload the dishwasher.

As far as sleep goes, we're still co-sleeping. We originally saw it as a temporary solution to our sleeping woes, but we're committed to it now. Co-sleeping has gotten a bad rap in this country. The American Academy of Pediatrics advises against it because they say it increases the risk of SIDS. The weird thing is that when it is done with some simple safety precautions, co-sleeping has actually been shown to reduce the risk of SIDS. I also think that parents who choose to co-sleep are sometimes viewed as push overs or like they just don't have the back-bone to teach their kids how to sleep on their own. But co-sleeping has done wonders for Jonas' attachment to us. Some studies have even shown that babies that co-sleep grow up to be more independent and self-assured as adults than babies who sleep alone. I'm not sure how reliable a study like that is because there are many other variables that come into play throughout a child's life. But I certainly think that co-sleeping can't hurt. The other argument I've heard is that parents don't sleep as well with a baby in their bed. There's a valid point there for sure! We have definitely had some rough nights, when the thought of putting Jonas to bed and not seeing him again until the next morning has been quite appealing. I have always seemed to need more sleep than the average person, and there have been nights with Jonas that I've thought "I can't do this anymore!" But I get up, drink some coffee, and make it through the day just fine. God has supplied all the strength I need. In general, Jonas has been getting better with sleeping. About a month ago Jonas started to be quite a bed hog and our bed was feeling very cramped. To give us more space I researched how to safely make his crib into a side car bed and that has been working really well. He typically spends most of the night in his crib, and just whimpers and rolls over to me when he wants to sleep closer. He slept through the night (without rolling over to be near me) for the first time last week! This week he was cutting a tooth and he never sleeps well when he's cutting teeth. We had a rough few days, but he got back on track again last night. All in all, the benefits of co-sleeping outweigh the negatives for us. I cherish the times that Jonas snuggles up to me and throws a chubby arm around my neck. I fall back asleep with his soft head under my chin and the sweet smell of his hair. Co-sleeping is not for every family. I'm not even trying to say that it is the best thing to do. It is, however, a good option and the best thing for our family.

"Photo Shoot" in a Special Outfit

We finally took Jonas' picture in a very special outfit. Ray's uncles, Ray, and his 3 brothers all had their 1 year pictures taken in a blue sweater outfit with white strips and little white seals. Long before we started trying to start our family, I knew I would want to carry on the tradition if we ever had a son. So, I considered it a huge honor to have the outfit passed on to us to borrow for Jonas' picture. The outfit is special because of all the little boys (now mostly men) who have worn it in the past, and the special little boy of our own who can now wear it. I decided I would take the picture myself. I tried getting a good shot a few days before he turned 12 months old, but I couldn't get him to sit still. I decided it would be a better project for Ray and I to tackle together. One person could entertain Jonas, get him to smile and sit still, and the other person could take the pictures. We finally got around to doing this on Friday, a few days after Jonas turned 13 months old. The weather was beautiful, so we decided to go to our church and take some pictures outside. We eventually moved the "photo shoot" inside the church because Jonas seemed more interested in pulling up grass and flowers than in smiling for a picture. It was a lot harder than I anticipated to get a good shot! We took a ton of pictures just trying to get one where Jonas was looking at the camera and sitting still. I love the "blooper" pictures too though, because they show his personality. Here are a few:

"Ooooh.... grass!"

"And flowers!"

"Can I touch the camera?"

Drumming his hands on the stage floor. "This makes a cool noise!"

"Hey, the plant gave me bunny ears!"

Typical of Jonas, moving his hands and feet in excitement.

Finally, this is the shot we're keeping and framing. Grandparents, watch for your copy in the mail (whenever I get to the post office)!

"We're finally done? I'm outta here!"

"Hey mom and dad, are you coming?"